Magnolia Fay Writes

Sometimes I ask myself ‘is it even worth it?’ The answer is ‘I don’t know, but I can’t not do it’

Hi there!

I am resurrecting this space once more. A lot has happened since my last post.

I have written more, learned more, found more community than I could fathom.

I have fallen head over heels in love with London, and don’t plan to move anywhere else anytime soon. This city has awakened me from a long creative slumber and I’ll always be deeply grateful for its positive impact on my life on so many levels.

I have finished the first draft of a contemporary romance novel that I hope to query to publishers sometime this year.

I have become part of the wonderful Sword & Sapphics discord, the most welcoming, supportive, politically aware authors space I could ever ask for. I would never have finished my first draft if it hadn’t been for the collective sprints and the encouragement from these amazing people.

I have enlisted the help of game designer and treasure trove of social media advice Helios to try and make sense out of this crazy landscape that is social media and beat my own hurdles to post on it. They’ve been a huge help and a great sounding board for ideas. I’m grateful to have them on my team!

I am once again collaborating with the magical Mistress M on her THIRD Heart Art Anthology. Always a great project that lovingly challenges writers to think of the craft in new ways, whilst making space to play and reconnect with the joy of it all.

This is the good stuff, the stuff that keeps me going, that keeps me hopeful in my writing even now that I still reside in the Before Publication time. (Yes, I know I have published in anthologies and I have published here, but Before Individual Paid Publication Time doesn’t quite roll off the tongue in the same way).

There have been obstacles and worries and plenty of anxiety too.

The state of the world doesn’t seem to want to improve. I’ve been neck-deep in geopolitical doom scrolling since the start of Covid, and it’s just been one thing after another, and, quite often, many all at once.

The genocide in Palestine. The US elections. The new government in my country. The rise of Generative AI. The fear of impending climate collapse. Late stage capitalism. The signs of rising fascism nearly everywhere.

The fact that online, you can curate your own bubble, which I admit to doing with no shame at all, because I need it for my mental health, but outside in real life, it’s a lot more difficult.

So, how do you choose? Which issues are worth cutting ties over? I have lost budding friendships over Palestine, over racism towards immigrants. But what do I do when people in my friends group gleefully show me those anime-rendered pictures and my inner choir of authors and artist friends and collaborators cries out for shunning, led by Hayao Miyazaki declaring that ‘it’s an insult to life itself?’

The issues are not the same in many ways, but I am empathising with vegetarian people more than ever before. How do you deal with something that’s, as of now, still socially accepted, and whose damages are either far removed or not yet tangible but you feel deep in the gut that it’s wrong? That it’s going to hurt badly in the long run?

I don’t have answers yet, and you’re probably wondering what all this has to do with writing.

Writing, even fiction, is how I process the world. My stories are born and live in a world. It might not be our world, but it is influenced and shaped by it. And as time goes on and the ‘real world’ (whatever that even means) edges closer and closer to full dystopia, my stories acquire new layers. New politics, new intentions.

I am currently working at rewrites of many of my stories that were born on the previous iteration of this space, Oddball Tales. Some of them will come out as collections, and others will expand into something more. And all of them will in some way be informed by the current climate. Be it in the topics, the characters, the relationships.

The road is long and pretty rocky at the moment, and many times I ask myself if it is worth it. Especially when I think how my writing, my beloved characters, might end up ground to slop into an AI machine and rigurgitated into slop for instant gratification chasers. Should I just keep my stories to myself, sacrifice my writing calling in order to avoid feeding the machine?

However, I will keep going. I will keep writing, because at the end of the day, that is what I am and what I have always been. It took me 35 years to fully accept that there is nothing else I want to be doing with my life. The timing sucks, but it is the only time I have. So it’s the one I will use.

To quote my wonderful mentor Mistress M:

• Write the world you want to see into being. Write characters dreaming this vision into reality.
• Write for protest. Write a story that the evil empire would ban. Write what you feel must be said.
• Write for community action. Use the sacred portal of your platform to share your views.
• Write for comfort and healing. Write gentle haikus. Write daily affirmations. Keep a nature journal.

I recommend her whole Substack post for all readers and writers trying to reconcile the world and their writing/reading practice. To read it, click on the image below.

I promise that my next writing update will be a more, well, writing-focused one. This was more a hodge-podge of thoughts and feelings.

If you made it all the way, I really appreciate you. I am working, I am writing, and I will be updating again soon.

Thank you for sticking with me for so long!

Happy reading,

Magnolia Fay